A Riddle and a Gentlewoman

I'm feeling a little inquisitive today. I found my brain in a place where deep thought and being well spoken is not a back-handed way of telling someone they're an idiot. This place is my own little world. I'm glad I had the chance to drop the "dumb girl" facade long enough to get lost in my own head for a while and really THINK. Not about video games or all the other things I think about, but instead I contemplated my environment and pop culture. That said, I came up with an interesting question.
One social networking site fell on the knife of childish stupidity, "friend whoring", re-postings and rapid popularization that sucked the slight enjoyment left in the lives of those who used it. Another social network has seemed to fit the giant's shoes, and he too will fall upon a knife like the giant before him. That said, how long will it take for the second giant to become but a whispered name to be mocked?

If you can't sleep

Here's a list of some sweet tunes.

•Route Around (Acoustic) by Rebelution
•Existencialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run
•A Letter from Janelle (Acoustic) by Chiodos
•Cemetary Weather by Isles & Glaciers
•Things to Come by The Shins
•Play Crack the Sky by Brand New
•Falling by Iration
•Title and Registration by Death Cab for Cutie

You're welcome.

♪♫"Love is watching someone die..."♫♪

"You get prettier and prettier every time I see you, mija." My grandfather has told me that every single time I saw him since I was a kid. He taught me how to swim and told me all about his high school days. Now, he's in a hospital and I'm too scared to go see him. I've had dizzy spells and mood swings for the past month and it's gotten to the point where I don't want to be alone for even a few hours. There's a knot in my stomach that twists every time I think about him or hear about how he's doing. I even went as far as to ask my friends to take it easy on the jokes. I'm angry and depressed. Mix that with a lovely chemical imbalance (manic depression bi-polar) and you have a ticking time bomb. I'd rather not find out what could happen if I snap, especially if it's towards a friend.

My brother told me my dad wants all the grand kids to go see our grandpa in the hospital. I don't want to be the drama queen and make up excuses not to go, but I don't want to find out what my reaction will be when I see him. My grandpa is a true fighter and I don't want to be weak when I see him. This is one of those times when I need a shoulder to cry on. That's what sisters do. We may have our differences and petty arguments, but we're family.

Song of the day: What Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie

PWFL Goes Political

So I read part of an article today and I thought it was comical enough for me to say something about it. So here it goes:

Rick Santorum sure must love the taste of his own foot in his mouth. He twisted the words of President Obama to try and make him sound like a jerk. However, Mr. President's speeches are well documented to a freaking T. It's a bunch of he said she said bullshit, but it's documented and published so the whole world can see how much of an asshole this Santorum guy really is.

Santorum said: “President Obama has said he wants everybody in America to go to college. What a snob... There are good, decent men and women who go out and work hard every day, and put their skills to test, who aren't taught by some liberal college professor (who) tries to indoctrinate them. I understand why he wants you to go to college. He wants to remake you in his image. I want to create jobs so people can remake their children into their image, not his.”

What President Obama really stressed was for Americans to get a college education, be it at a university or community college, or some kind of vocational training. He's actually encouraging people to get something more than just a high school diploma, which I support.

FYI, The Good Ol' US of A has one of the crappiest education systems on the global level. My home state of Arizona ranked 50th in the country for education. That's saying something, now isn't it?

So for all you Santorum supporters, have a little food for thought: Do you really want a jackwagon who lies to the media about what the President said? Vote Ron Paul :)

Dead Memories

I woke up with a splitting headache today. I've been turning over a single thought in my mind for the past few weeks, and today I finally realized a few things.

For starters, we're not kids anymore. It's a hard pill to take and I know I should have realized this a while ago. But, I'm hung up on the old times. Times when we used to stay up all hours of the night, get shit faced, and hang out when we were in more sober conditions. Now, friends are married or were at one point, moved out, working to pay bills, working on degrees, or a combination of the five.

What's more depressing is when I realized I'm 23, barely starting on a degree, I can't drive, I don't have a car and I don't have a job. As much as I want to be irresponsible and relive all those dead memories, I know I can't. It's not that I have a family to support or have to make ends meet. I just have to grow the fuck up.

I'm no Bible-crazed lunatic who MUST pray for all that I want or need, but I do see some things in the Hebrew/Christian Bible that make some sense. When three angels were uber pwning Sodom, Lot's wife turned around and became a pillar of salt. Look it up. I don't have a Bible on hand right now. Anyway, Lot's wife was a metaphor (in my opinion). She looked back on what was past and she was stuck there. I was stuck mentally, but now I'm mobile and moving forward.

-The End-

A List of Things I Hate

It's not in order, but I'm a little irritated right now and I need to rant.

-Celery

-Unexpected company

-Teenagers who think their parents owe them anything

-Children who scream/swear/whine

-Homework

-Washing dishes

-Users

-Posers

-Child molesters

-Rapists

-Murderers

-Crooked politicians

-Smoking bans

-People who ignore traffic regulations

-Mornings

-Dirty socks

-Animal abuse

-Twilight

-Justin Bieber (I don't care if I spelled it wrong. He's annoying.)

-"Artists" who make it big yet have little to know musical skill

-Joiners

-Idiots

-Morons

-Jackasses

-Assholes

-Evangelicals trying to push their religion on others

-The Game and losing the game

-The economy

-Money

-Unemployment rates

-Long lines

-Human rights violations

-Hitler

-Genocide

-Politics in general

-Bombs

-War

-Dirt

-Germs

-Diseases

-Chemical warfare

-Tribal tattoos on anyone who isn't in a tribe to begin with

-Dropped stitches when I'm knitting/crocheting

-Losing things

-People who think they're better than everyone else

-Holes in my shoes

-Running out of cigarettes

-People not understanding that guns don't kill people

-Terrorists

-People who don't understand the nature of hunting. IT'S FOR POPULATION CONTROL! Do you want those poor animals to starve because they over populated and consumed their food sources? I don't hunt. Hell, I've never even shot a gun in my life. But if I can grasp that concept, so can all these PETA ass wads who shoot off flares at hunting grounds. You make me sick.

-Lint

-Anything purple.

-Anti-LBGT anything

-Gangs

-Violence

-Really annoying people.

That's my rant for today. I feel better :). I may bitch about a lot of shit, but the men and women stationed in Afghanistan have it rough. Check out this link. Help a soldier out, will ya? Special thanks to Brian Wendt for writing the Facebook note, "

HotHands® for Soldiers".

It was just that much fun

Last night can only be slightly described by a song.

Look What I Can Do

I'm blogging in bed. Sure it takes a lot longer to basically text an entire post, but if it's for quick little things, photos, etc., then it's fairly convenient. Not when I'm supposed to be asleep, though.

Real quick before I head to dream land, if you have a problem with the amount of profanity and vulgarity I use in my blog, tough shit.

Goodnight :)

Single (with links to some fantastic music)

You don't HAVE to follow the links for this blog to make sense. It's optional.

So I broke up with my boyfriend of ten months (that's my longest relationship thus far) and I feel like a bitch. Not because of the reason, but because how I'm not allowing myself to be depressed. Trust me, this morning was a scene ripped from the pages of an emo kid's diary. I had my blanket over my head, cuddling with my pillow, and listening to Brand New. But then I said to myself, "Get your ass out of bed, take a shower and change the music. This is ridiculous." So what did I do? I did some laundry, took a shower, and listened to Rebelution. NO one can be upset when they listen to this amazing band, even if you don't like reggae.

The rest of the night was filled with rants, inside jokes, laughs, "looking suspect", and things that I can't really can't explain. What I can tell you is I love Boston and I just realized Flo Rida's name is Florida with a space between O and R. I feel like a jackass for that last one because it seems so obvious, but I really don't pay much attention to the new hip hop scene.

On a side note, I found myself in the weird part of YouTube. Some things can't be unseen. Just saying.

Now that I've gotten all this stuff off my chest, I feel like dancing.

Bad, Filthy Fun (and not for the whole family).

Last night was the last night I will indulge my inner party girl with Beer Pong until the end of the semester. I'm even giving up the sauce during Lent to make it a double obligation to myself and whatever higher power is out there running this show we call existence.

One of the main reasons I decided I need to stop drinking is the lack of inhibition I have when I'm three sheets to the wind. The things I text to my friends are things I wouldn't normally say under more sober physical conditions, but I meant every word. And, I notice I'm more passive until someone gets in my face. Drunk fights are dangerous and I almost opened a can of whoop ass on some woman who was drinking with us. It's not my place to say she can't come over since it's not my house, but I'll be damned if I get drunk with her again. Aside from that, I'm 23 years old and I can't kill my guts with alcohol before I'm 30. Besides, I have more fun when I'm sober.

Best quote from last night "You threw a Phoenix Down on it?"-My sister, K.C. aka KANSAS!

First post of 2012: Why I should never stay up for an extended period of time...ever.

You know what's hotter than a man who can cook? A man who can clean! Think about it. Visualize your boyfriend/husband/partner/fiance/crush sweeping floors, washing dishes, and scrubbing down every surface. Now imagine Vin Diesel (or your Hollywood heartthrob of choice) doing those same things.

If your standard of clean is significantly low, you may not appreciate my observation. Just sayin'.

This post was brought to you by the Lack of Sleep Institution for Insomniacs. (I totally just made that up right now.)

Revolution

There's a lot of talk about The Occupy Wall Street Movement. Here's my opinion:

-It's non-violent, so that's okay with me. But what isn't okay is California police beating Occupy protesters. REALLY?! "Protect and serve." That is your occupation. I wasn't there, so I can't tell you what exactly went down before these civil servants started physically assaulting the protesters, but I will say this: Lock 'em up. I'd hate to use a cliche, but "Do the crime, do the time."

-Every generation has some sort of social reform movement. I want to tell me grand kids about where I was, how I got involved, and what my stance on the whole shpeal is. Whether you want to admit it or not, YOU are the 99%...unless you're wealthy. And no offense, but if you're reading my blog the likelihood of you being in the 1% is slim to nill. And if you are, stop taking tax cuts. Pay your dues.

-I'm not into the whole "take from the rich, give to the poor" bit by a long shot. They earned that money. But tax cuts because they have enough money to wipe their ass? No, sir. That won't fly. But when a multimillionaire is paying 17% in taxes while his secretary, who earned $30,000 pays 30% in taxes, there's a problem here. If I have to bust my balls to earn a lousy paycheck then get bent over by the IRS in April, I wouldn't be too happy about that.


I'm not some hippie, but I do believe in nonviolent protests. And if it's something that affects the entire world, then I don't have a problem with that. If you want to know more about the Occupy Wall Street Movement, click here.

Shit happens, right?

I am an emotionally volatile woman who will fuck anyone's shit up if they look at me wrong. I am jealous and quick to jump to conclusions. I know I made a mistake by breaking up with him. It's only been a few hours and I already miss him. What could I have done different? Did I need to shake him by the shoulders and tell him I'm not happy anymore? That every single thing I told him didn't seem to get through to him? That there was something wrong and we needed to fix it?

Shit happens, right?

Who needs MTV?

For whatever reason, I decided that I want to pursue being an MC. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's the artistry or having phenomenal influences like mc chris. The way I see it, rapping is poetry to a rhythm. It can be comical or serious, suggestive or just straight up raunchy. The beat is the vehicle for the lyrics, and I'm lucky enough to have (a very, very, very, slight) understanding of music theory and I can write well (or so I've been told). I don't want to do it for fame or money. I just want to actually go through with one one my crazy ideas.

It's more tangible if I put effort into it, and I'm already writing some material. The only hurdle I have to get over is myself. I'm ridiculously shy when I meet new people and my stage fright is atrocious. I once tried out for a play in high school. I could feel my entire face turning red as I stammered and struggled to read two lines. After that, I never tried out for an acting part again.

I don't need some "reality show" to invade my privacy and have some Joe Blow "expert" tell me how to do this that and the other thing in a short period of time then throw me to the wolves as a test of what I've learned. That's just stupid. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it myself.

My plan is already layed out. All I need is motivation and discipline and I'll be on my way to being Lumber Jackie (my stage name needs a little work).

Art and Trash

My boyfriend and I went to First Friday in lovely downtown Phoenix last night. It was hot and uncomfortable, but I love the art scene there...at least I used to.

It's not about the art anymore. It's about a bunch of kids running around, or standing near a DJ spinning hardcore dance music while one or two people dance. It was painful seeing a middle school dance re-creation. Oh, and the really horrendous, ear-blood-educing "music" by a couple of Joe Blows who think their sound is revolutionary? You're a hipster magnet, so don't go quitting your day jobs just yet. I do admire your attempts to draw in a scout or a record label executive of sorts, but it's not going to happen. And if it does, how many blow jobs did it take? If you're doing it for the love of what you can create with an instrument, kudos.

The thing that really bothered me is how so many people in DTP claim to be "green" and preach all this Save the Planet bullshit when there was trash all over the streets. I don't think there was one block that didn't have empty bottles and fliers sprinkled around the sidewalk. One girl even mentioned something about the trash, then threw her empty pastry box on the ground and kept walking. HYPOCRITE! I know I'm probably shouting on my soap box to deaf ears and I should probably take some sort of action. But, it's not my job to clean up other people's messes. Take responsibility for your own garbage!

Not So Sweet Dreams

It seems like I've had the same dream, just strung together and spaced out. I wake up and I want to cry or punch someone because it seems so real. It's so vivid, yet the elements are dream-like.

Basically, all three dreams have had one common factor: I see my boyfriend kissing another girl. I beat the shit out of her, but I can't feel my fists making contact and my swings don't seem to have any affect on her. Last nights dream was the most emotional one thus far.

My boyfriend, my sister, myself, and a few other people went to a restaurant of sorts. I left to go order some food, but upon returning I saw my boyfriend and some girl in a wig in a lip lock. I jumped on the table and tackled the girl, then started beating her face in. Her wig fell off and it was my sister. Then I looked at my boyfriend and starting beating his face in, crying and asking why would he do this to me again.

The dream shifted to me in the passenger's seat of an old blue pick-up truck and some guy was driving. We were talking about opening a diner and how we would take the orders. He wanted to use some computer program, and I said we should just use an order form. We drove around these really weird looking buildings, which had these crazy designs and had lights all around them. We found one that wasn't lit at all and had a "For Sale" sign on it. He got out, and my sister got in the driver's side, and we started driving around and talking like we usually do. I turned to her and asked her why she would hurt me so much by kissing the one person I've ever fell in love with, and she said he never loved me. Then I started hitting her and crying, calling her "Judas" and hissing at her. She pulled over and I kept trying to hit her, but she would move around too fast for my fists to make contact.

At this point in the dream, it's a little fuzzy. I remember holding a tiny baby, crying and telling my brother about what happened and one of my uncles laughing about it. But the part that sticks out the most is writing "Judas" all over my sisters car and screaming it at her between sobs.

I don't know what this dream is supposed to mean. Maybe I'm so paranoid about my boyfriend hurting me. Maybe I fear the worst: him falling for one of my sisters. But the part I can't get around is calling my sister Judas, who betrayed Jesus. (I added a nifty link in case you're unfamiliar with the name.

Hopefully, neither of these dreams come true. It'd make for an overly emotional blog, and no one wants to read that.

Song for this blog: Degausser-Brand New.

My my! What awesome music you have!

Local music is the shizznit. AZ has one of the finest local scenes around.

Belligerent Rednecks (and yes, there is a semi-bias going on here since two of the guys from BR are good friends of mine)

The Format

Blessthefall

Greely Estates

Authority Zero

Jimmy Eat World

The Bled

Lost in Atlantis

That's just a taste of awesome.

Get out there and support YOUR local scene!

Illegal Immigrants and Smokey the Bear

I was watching the news today and there was a story about Sen. John McCain blaming illegal immigrants on the recent forest fire near the Arizona/Mexico border. The first thing that human rights activists assume is he is "demonizing" immigrants and "demonizing" Latinos.

My thoughts: Look at the facts, people. It's a border fire. So, how did this fire start? Were the desert critters having a bonfire that got out of control? No! Someone had to start this fire, and it sure wasn't Smokey. No, I'm not saying the Latino population as a whole should be held responsible for it. (I'm Hispanic. Why blame my brown side?) However, I believe those who are responsible for this and every other fire, should pony up and take their punishment like adults.

Oh, and for God's sake, stop making everything about McCain going after Latinos. He wants illegal immigrants out, and I agree with him. I sympathize with those who seek asylum and are turned away. I also agree that the system is fucked. Hopefully, something is done to fix that problem, but until then every single person crossing that border illegally are all the same to McCain and the law.

I feel better now :)

Thoughts of the evening.

Random thoughts of the evening:

-Alcoholics Anonymous is anonymous, why do you introduce yourself?

-Are home grown herbs better than store bought? And does it make a difference if you purchase a mature plant at a store, or grow it from a seed?

-Why is a 12 oz bag of fiber fill more expensive than a 16oz bag?

-At a midnight premier of a movie, what's the ratio of assholes who want to pick the film apart to those who just want to see a movie they've waited to see?

-How did Marvel get bought out by Disney? (This is one of my waking thoughts.)

-It's viewed as child abuse to spank a child, but how many of those law makers were raised with parents who spanked them?

-Why is there a meat dress in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame?

Ghosts and Alarms

Alright this is getting a little creepy: Every time I talk about paranormal activity (in my house or in general) some weird shit goes down.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation about ghosts and whatnot with my brother. The alarm clock that I had borrowed from him went off three times in a row before I unplugged it from the wall. I had set the alarm for 7 am, but it was going off at 12:am.

Tonight, I was talking to my sister about ghosts and things we've experienced in our house. Then a few minutes later, I was talking to my boyfriend about the same things. After we had said our farewells, my cell phone's alarm goes off for no reason. I set a reminder on my phone for my boyfriend's birthday (which was on the 14th) and it has gone off twice tonight.

Here are a few things I need explained:

1) Seeing "shadows" or "figures" moving in the dark

2)Faceless "mannequin" crawling on the floor

3) Seeing a flash of light in complete dark and/or shadows figures right before my sister had a night terror.

Nothing vicious has happened and I'm glad for that. The only things that have almost required a change of underpants. It's more or less seeing apparitions and shadows. Any takers on giving my family and I some advice?