Not So Sweet Dreams

It seems like I've had the same dream, just strung together and spaced out. I wake up and I want to cry or punch someone because it seems so real. It's so vivid, yet the elements are dream-like.

Basically, all three dreams have had one common factor: I see my boyfriend kissing another girl. I beat the shit out of her, but I can't feel my fists making contact and my swings don't seem to have any affect on her. Last nights dream was the most emotional one thus far.

My boyfriend, my sister, myself, and a few other people went to a restaurant of sorts. I left to go order some food, but upon returning I saw my boyfriend and some girl in a wig in a lip lock. I jumped on the table and tackled the girl, then started beating her face in. Her wig fell off and it was my sister. Then I looked at my boyfriend and starting beating his face in, crying and asking why would he do this to me again.

The dream shifted to me in the passenger's seat of an old blue pick-up truck and some guy was driving. We were talking about opening a diner and how we would take the orders. He wanted to use some computer program, and I said we should just use an order form. We drove around these really weird looking buildings, which had these crazy designs and had lights all around them. We found one that wasn't lit at all and had a "For Sale" sign on it. He got out, and my sister got in the driver's side, and we started driving around and talking like we usually do. I turned to her and asked her why she would hurt me so much by kissing the one person I've ever fell in love with, and she said he never loved me. Then I started hitting her and crying, calling her "Judas" and hissing at her. She pulled over and I kept trying to hit her, but she would move around too fast for my fists to make contact.

At this point in the dream, it's a little fuzzy. I remember holding a tiny baby, crying and telling my brother about what happened and one of my uncles laughing about it. But the part that sticks out the most is writing "Judas" all over my sisters car and screaming it at her between sobs.

I don't know what this dream is supposed to mean. Maybe I'm so paranoid about my boyfriend hurting me. Maybe I fear the worst: him falling for one of my sisters. But the part I can't get around is calling my sister Judas, who betrayed Jesus. (I added a nifty link in case you're unfamiliar with the name.

Hopefully, neither of these dreams come true. It'd make for an overly emotional blog, and no one wants to read that.

Song for this blog: Degausser-Brand New.