Revolution

There's a lot of talk about The Occupy Wall Street Movement. Here's my opinion:

-It's non-violent, so that's okay with me. But what isn't okay is California police beating Occupy protesters. REALLY?! "Protect and serve." That is your occupation. I wasn't there, so I can't tell you what exactly went down before these civil servants started physically assaulting the protesters, but I will say this: Lock 'em up. I'd hate to use a cliche, but "Do the crime, do the time."

-Every generation has some sort of social reform movement. I want to tell me grand kids about where I was, how I got involved, and what my stance on the whole shpeal is. Whether you want to admit it or not, YOU are the 99%...unless you're wealthy. And no offense, but if you're reading my blog the likelihood of you being in the 1% is slim to nill. And if you are, stop taking tax cuts. Pay your dues.

-I'm not into the whole "take from the rich, give to the poor" bit by a long shot. They earned that money. But tax cuts because they have enough money to wipe their ass? No, sir. That won't fly. But when a multimillionaire is paying 17% in taxes while his secretary, who earned $30,000 pays 30% in taxes, there's a problem here. If I have to bust my balls to earn a lousy paycheck then get bent over by the IRS in April, I wouldn't be too happy about that.


I'm not some hippie, but I do believe in nonviolent protests. And if it's something that affects the entire world, then I don't have a problem with that. If you want to know more about the Occupy Wall Street Movement, click here.

Shit happens, right?

I am an emotionally volatile woman who will fuck anyone's shit up if they look at me wrong. I am jealous and quick to jump to conclusions. I know I made a mistake by breaking up with him. It's only been a few hours and I already miss him. What could I have done different? Did I need to shake him by the shoulders and tell him I'm not happy anymore? That every single thing I told him didn't seem to get through to him? That there was something wrong and we needed to fix it?

Shit happens, right?

Who needs MTV?

For whatever reason, I decided that I want to pursue being an MC. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's the artistry or having phenomenal influences like mc chris. The way I see it, rapping is poetry to a rhythm. It can be comical or serious, suggestive or just straight up raunchy. The beat is the vehicle for the lyrics, and I'm lucky enough to have (a very, very, very, slight) understanding of music theory and I can write well (or so I've been told). I don't want to do it for fame or money. I just want to actually go through with one one my crazy ideas.

It's more tangible if I put effort into it, and I'm already writing some material. The only hurdle I have to get over is myself. I'm ridiculously shy when I meet new people and my stage fright is atrocious. I once tried out for a play in high school. I could feel my entire face turning red as I stammered and struggled to read two lines. After that, I never tried out for an acting part again.

I don't need some "reality show" to invade my privacy and have some Joe Blow "expert" tell me how to do this that and the other thing in a short period of time then throw me to the wolves as a test of what I've learned. That's just stupid. If I want to do something, I'm going to do it myself.

My plan is already layed out. All I need is motivation and discipline and I'll be on my way to being Lumber Jackie (my stage name needs a little work).

Art and Trash

My boyfriend and I went to First Friday in lovely downtown Phoenix last night. It was hot and uncomfortable, but I love the art scene there...at least I used to.

It's not about the art anymore. It's about a bunch of kids running around, or standing near a DJ spinning hardcore dance music while one or two people dance. It was painful seeing a middle school dance re-creation. Oh, and the really horrendous, ear-blood-educing "music" by a couple of Joe Blows who think their sound is revolutionary? You're a hipster magnet, so don't go quitting your day jobs just yet. I do admire your attempts to draw in a scout or a record label executive of sorts, but it's not going to happen. And if it does, how many blow jobs did it take? If you're doing it for the love of what you can create with an instrument, kudos.

The thing that really bothered me is how so many people in DTP claim to be "green" and preach all this Save the Planet bullshit when there was trash all over the streets. I don't think there was one block that didn't have empty bottles and fliers sprinkled around the sidewalk. One girl even mentioned something about the trash, then threw her empty pastry box on the ground and kept walking. HYPOCRITE! I know I'm probably shouting on my soap box to deaf ears and I should probably take some sort of action. But, it's not my job to clean up other people's messes. Take responsibility for your own garbage!

Not So Sweet Dreams

It seems like I've had the same dream, just strung together and spaced out. I wake up and I want to cry or punch someone because it seems so real. It's so vivid, yet the elements are dream-like.

Basically, all three dreams have had one common factor: I see my boyfriend kissing another girl. I beat the shit out of her, but I can't feel my fists making contact and my swings don't seem to have any affect on her. Last nights dream was the most emotional one thus far.

My boyfriend, my sister, myself, and a few other people went to a restaurant of sorts. I left to go order some food, but upon returning I saw my boyfriend and some girl in a wig in a lip lock. I jumped on the table and tackled the girl, then started beating her face in. Her wig fell off and it was my sister. Then I looked at my boyfriend and starting beating his face in, crying and asking why would he do this to me again.

The dream shifted to me in the passenger's seat of an old blue pick-up truck and some guy was driving. We were talking about opening a diner and how we would take the orders. He wanted to use some computer program, and I said we should just use an order form. We drove around these really weird looking buildings, which had these crazy designs and had lights all around them. We found one that wasn't lit at all and had a "For Sale" sign on it. He got out, and my sister got in the driver's side, and we started driving around and talking like we usually do. I turned to her and asked her why she would hurt me so much by kissing the one person I've ever fell in love with, and she said he never loved me. Then I started hitting her and crying, calling her "Judas" and hissing at her. She pulled over and I kept trying to hit her, but she would move around too fast for my fists to make contact.

At this point in the dream, it's a little fuzzy. I remember holding a tiny baby, crying and telling my brother about what happened and one of my uncles laughing about it. But the part that sticks out the most is writing "Judas" all over my sisters car and screaming it at her between sobs.

I don't know what this dream is supposed to mean. Maybe I'm so paranoid about my boyfriend hurting me. Maybe I fear the worst: him falling for one of my sisters. But the part I can't get around is calling my sister Judas, who betrayed Jesus. (I added a nifty link in case you're unfamiliar with the name.

Hopefully, neither of these dreams come true. It'd make for an overly emotional blog, and no one wants to read that.

Song for this blog: Degausser-Brand New.

My my! What awesome music you have!

Local music is the shizznit. AZ has one of the finest local scenes around.

Belligerent Rednecks (and yes, there is a semi-bias going on here since two of the guys from BR are good friends of mine)

The Format

Blessthefall

Greely Estates

Authority Zero

Jimmy Eat World

The Bled

Lost in Atlantis

That's just a taste of awesome.

Get out there and support YOUR local scene!

Illegal Immigrants and Smokey the Bear

I was watching the news today and there was a story about Sen. John McCain blaming illegal immigrants on the recent forest fire near the Arizona/Mexico border. The first thing that human rights activists assume is he is "demonizing" immigrants and "demonizing" Latinos.

My thoughts: Look at the facts, people. It's a border fire. So, how did this fire start? Were the desert critters having a bonfire that got out of control? No! Someone had to start this fire, and it sure wasn't Smokey. No, I'm not saying the Latino population as a whole should be held responsible for it. (I'm Hispanic. Why blame my brown side?) However, I believe those who are responsible for this and every other fire, should pony up and take their punishment like adults.

Oh, and for God's sake, stop making everything about McCain going after Latinos. He wants illegal immigrants out, and I agree with him. I sympathize with those who seek asylum and are turned away. I also agree that the system is fucked. Hopefully, something is done to fix that problem, but until then every single person crossing that border illegally are all the same to McCain and the law.

I feel better now :)

Thoughts of the evening.

Random thoughts of the evening:

-Alcoholics Anonymous is anonymous, why do you introduce yourself?

-Are home grown herbs better than store bought? And does it make a difference if you purchase a mature plant at a store, or grow it from a seed?

-Why is a 12 oz bag of fiber fill more expensive than a 16oz bag?

-At a midnight premier of a movie, what's the ratio of assholes who want to pick the film apart to those who just want to see a movie they've waited to see?

-How did Marvel get bought out by Disney? (This is one of my waking thoughts.)

-It's viewed as child abuse to spank a child, but how many of those law makers were raised with parents who spanked them?

-Why is there a meat dress in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame?

Ghosts and Alarms

Alright this is getting a little creepy: Every time I talk about paranormal activity (in my house or in general) some weird shit goes down.

A few months ago, I was having a conversation about ghosts and whatnot with my brother. The alarm clock that I had borrowed from him went off three times in a row before I unplugged it from the wall. I had set the alarm for 7 am, but it was going off at 12:am.

Tonight, I was talking to my sister about ghosts and things we've experienced in our house. Then a few minutes later, I was talking to my boyfriend about the same things. After we had said our farewells, my cell phone's alarm goes off for no reason. I set a reminder on my phone for my boyfriend's birthday (which was on the 14th) and it has gone off twice tonight.

Here are a few things I need explained:

1) Seeing "shadows" or "figures" moving in the dark

2)Faceless "mannequin" crawling on the floor

3) Seeing a flash of light in complete dark and/or shadows figures right before my sister had a night terror.

Nothing vicious has happened and I'm glad for that. The only things that have almost required a change of underpants. It's more or less seeing apparitions and shadows. Any takers on giving my family and I some advice?

I almost forgot

I almost forgot about my blog. Oh silly me!

The newest and best thing in my life right now is my boyfriend.

Finals are creeping up. Not cool beans, I say. Time to crack open those books!

This post was brought to you by my trusty mobile device, thus why this and posts after this one will be brief until further notice.

Dates and Hanging Out: Apparently, There's a Difference. Who Would've Thought?

Fuck my fucking LIFE!

So here's the DL with what's going on.

Numero Uno:

I met these two dudes at school who are pretty gnarly.

I asked one of them if he:

A) Had a girlfriend

B) Wanted to go on a date

With my experience of hanging out with new people, their girlfriends get pissed as hell if their man is hanging out with a chick one on one.

Apparently, I really should stop using "date" instead of "hanging out". It seems to be getting me in some trouble. ("date" in context of a date, is still a date. I confuse myself all the time.)

Second:

Gigantor doesn't seem to be into me

I made a date with him anyway like a moron anyway.

So, I'm cancelling and having a da...I mean hanging out with someone else. (It's a work in progress. Cut me some fucking slack.)

Just to clarify: Gigantor and I had a date. An actual date. These dudes from school: hanging out. See the difference?

A date is: The dude pays and there's kissing involved at one point.

Hanging out: Do you pay for your friends stuff and make out with them? (This excludes friends with benefits who have some sort of agreement.) No? Thought so.

***UPDATE***

I'm no longer a vegetarian.

I ♥ BACON

Shining Lights and Gentle Giants

It's safe to say that this blog is not getting the attention it deserves from its author. I'm going to shine a little more light into my personal life. Why? Well, why the fuck not? The happenings in my day to day life aren't exactly exciting, but the highlights are. So without further ado, here is that little bit of light.

I had a date on Saturday. He's simply amazing. He towers a foot taller than me and his eye's are gorgeous. He picked me up from my house, and we went to Castles n' Coasters. It didn't even feel like a first date! He held my hand, he hugged me (major plus because hugs are amazing, even though my face barely came up to his sternum), and he put his arms around me like I was his to have. When we were about to go get something to eat...He kissed me. My head spun and the night sky seemed more beautiful than I had ever seen it before. There was without doubt that ever-desirable "spark".

It almost feels like he reads this blog because we have an inside joke. I didn't have sex with him on the first date, and that's some progress given my reputation as a slut. I'm mad crushing on a guy who deserves nothing but the best I can offer. With that said, I'm going to just leave it be. I don't want to spoil anything by getting my hopes up so high to only watch them crash in an inferno of failed efforts. But, I'm not going to object to this gentle giant asking me to be his girlfriend either.

It's kinda like that, I guess.

So the vegetarian thing is going to stay. I don't want to eat meat anymore, and I'm going to try to quit smoking and start being a little more active. This is going to be fun.

Hopefully on Saturday night, I get to finally meet this guy I've been talking to for the past few weeks. He says he's about a foot taller than me, so this should be interesting. I'm going in this with an open mind. Fuck the "all or nothing" attitude. Who cares if that person isn't the love of your life? There's nothing wrong with more friends!

I'd love to make more friends, not that there's anything wrong with the ones I have. It's just nice to know that I have friends outside of the ones I normally hang out with. The only things that are beginning to bother me is the fact that I don't see them as often as I wish I could, and I'm starting to believe my novelty has worn away. It might be some kind of weird mind fuck I'm doing to myself, but it just feels like that sometimes. That and it bothers me that I'm the group slut (at least I can be honest with myself, so that's all that should matter).

Sure, I'm putting on my game face for this date thing, but that's only because I don't want to make a negative first impression. If I didn't give a shit, I'd literally just roll out of bed, throw on my shoes, and grab my purse. No no no. I need to look good. Shower, shave, shine, the works. Do you see where I'm going with this? Get sexy for first dates is always a good idea, unless you want to scare them off.

Once Upon a Never

Once upon a time, I met the most amazing person I could ever ask to meet. They were kind and gentle, smart as a whip, and had me busting at the seems. Within a few hours of meeting this amazing person, we had our inside jokes and all awkwardness was melted away by our laughter. At the end of our evening we said our goodbyes with a hug. Nothing more and nothing less, as to not ruin the beauty that we had just witnessed with our eyes that night.

As weeks progress and this amazing person and I begin to explore our friendship, we realize we are meant to be more than just friends. They accept my quirks, as I do theirs. And we lived happily ever after.

The End.

Fairy tales are a bunch of fucking horse shit! Thanks, Hollywood, for glamorizing the unachievable.

I'll Dance My Heart Out!

Last night out of no where, I decided I wanted to learn how to jumpstyle. As I was practicing, I felt like my lungs were going to explode, but I was having so much fun just dancing. I'm pretty sure I murdered the dance in general, but the important thing is I was having a good time. It's a pretty tough thing to master if you have shit for balance. I used to play DDR, so it's not that big of a transition with the feet coordination. But the moving and jumping...that's going to be fun.

I want to get this dance down pat. Why? Go to a rave, watch these kids pull these sick moves and you'll see why. When most people who think of raves, they just think of Tecktonic, which is more like voging than anything. I dig the music, but the dance looks a little ridiculous to me.

The next one is The Melbourne Shuffle, which is totally opposite of jumpstyle. Both look equally awesome when done right. And gosh darn it, I'm going to do them both right!

Meatless for the Time Being

I was flipping through channels and I came across a program featuring a bunch of UK folks who go to different slaughter houses to see where their food comes from and how it's done. I almost threw up because it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. Seriously. I posted something about it on my facebook, and then the hecklers started. Well, for one, I was a vegetarian for two years. The only reason I stopped was because of an incident where it was either eat the ham sandwich or starve. So, don't tinkle on my parade. And second, I know animals are for eating but if you saw what happened, you'd question the integrity of that grease-soaked burger wrapped in a wax paper smile. The poor bull was scared out if it's wits until the butcher put this gun to it's forehead. One day it's grazing on grass in a sunny pasture, the next, it's being escorted to its death. It was sickening. I'm a member of PETA, but I'm not like all super crazy vegan who splashes red paint on fur coats. No. I'm in it for the humane treatment of animals. So put that in your pipe and toke it.

It might not last forever. My family is full of meat eaters, and I love bacon. Actually, a few seconds ago my mom announced dinner was ready. Meat sauce and spaghetti. No thank you. I don't want any. But, for all I know, I could stick to my guns this time and not cave in. Poor little animals :(

On a lighter note

Here's my playlist for my V Day...and it doesn't bother me one bit that I'm single, and that's not sarcasm. Seriously. I love these songs :D

We Belong Together-Richie Valens

La la la Means I Love You-The Delfonics

Angel Baby-Rosie and The Originals

Try Me-James Brown

Daddy's Home-Shep and The Limelites

Only You-The Platters

Unchained Melody-The Righteous Brothers

My Girl-The Temptations

I'm Your Puppet-James and Bobby Purify

Always and Forever-Heatwave

Enjoy ;)

Happy Consumerism Part Two Day!

In honor of Valentine's Day, aka Consumerism Part Two Day , I've compiled a list of reasons as to why I'm single. Now, don't go thinking it's a bit harsh. There's a difference between being mean and being honest...And this is going to help me get over the whole "singledom dread". Let's begin, shall we?

1. Sexually Insatiable- No, I'm not a whore, slut, floozy, tart, or any other derogatory name imaginable. I have a higher than average sex drive, and some guys can't keep up. Size is not an issue, it's how often and how long I get it. Generally, it's been short. I don't like this. I want more. I want multiple orgasms. I want it ALL! Slap me around, tie me up, and give me something to remember while I'm walking around bow-legged the next day.

2. Settling- I'm a pretty girl. I've always been called pretty. Unfortunately, I settle for someone who I'm not even attracted to. Yes, it's shallow. But I like things most women abhor. Beards (don't get me started) and body hair (I'm totally fucking serious) are two of my major turn ons. Beards are like catnip to me; I just want to nuzzle my face in them because they're my Ecstasy.

3. Spontaneousness- Every woman says they're spontaneous. Most of them are liars (yeah, bitches. I just called you out). I will see something, the gears in my brain start turning and BOOM! I come up with some awesome new hobby or whatever to pursue. Why has this been a problem for holding down a relationship? Grow with me, or get the fuck out. That's why. I don't want to spend my entire life just doing the same old grind. I want to LIVE life, make it mine, make memories, and learn a few things along the way. Once, I wanted to learn how to crochet. Guess what I do as a hobby? CROCHET! On another occasion, I wanted to go to a rave. Guess what I do on occasion? DING DING! The guys I've been with don't want to do anything new, afraid of being judged for not knowing how to do it well or being new to the scene. Fuck it. Who gives a rat's ass what other people think? If I were so concerned about it, I'd be boring as BALLS!

That's the list and I'm sticking to my guns on this one. The day I find someone who can fill those needs, I'll let you know.

Hey, Jealousy!

This is an unedited text conversation I had with a guy I dated of and on, I guess you could say:

Him: Dating someone new?

Me: No why?

Him: Ah i thought you went on a date with someone based on some of ur fb updates

Me: Ok

Him: I mean i know you werent talking about me on the omg hes gorgeous post lol

Me: No. I don't even know why I posted that random shit. Fb made the mistake of asking what was on my mind so yeah lol

Him: Ahhh ok then haha

Me: Yep yep.

Me: Were you getting worried about it or something?

Him: Jealous enough to be curious lol

Me: Jealous? I don't know if I should be worried or flattered lol

Him: Its not crazy jealous or anything

Me: Just jealous that my status wasn't about you?

End of conversation. Now the thing that really bothers me about this is the last time he text me was Monday. This conversation happened at 1 am today. Rather pathetic, if you ask me. He only decided to take an interest when he thought his chances of getting with "the only girl interested" in him (yes, he really did say this) were endangered. Honestly, I don't give a shit anymore. You want to be with me, great. If not, don't send me weird ass texts in the middle of the night because you're jealous.

Math, Celebrations, and Intelligence

I'm not a math magician, so don't tell me that I'm wrong when I say I'm 105% sure of something. I give 100% percent. Yeah, you're body can only handle 100%, but frankly my dear I don't give a fuck. Don't make this in to rocket surgery; it's just how my brain processes things.

Today was one of those days. I had an emo moment on the phone because it almost seemed like there were measures being taken to exclude me in certain festivities. I know I'm a girl, but that doesn't give someone the right to pass me off to someone I don't know that well so they can have a "guys night out". Whatever. I guess it's going to be me and a bottle of nasty Mescal to celebrate this shit on my own. I like me. We get along alright. Sure, we have our disagreements, but that's nothing out of the ordinary even if we have known each other our whole lives.

Why do people feel the need to write like the lolz katz and in IM/text lingo on a dating site profile? Seriously. Your first impression is what's written on that stupid thing, and you chalk yourself up as a total idiot. I like my guys and gals smart as whips, thank you very much.

Rant: Dating Site Creepsters and College Kids With Staring Problems

I've got some things I need to get off my chest.

Number one: What the hell is wrong with people these days? I'm on a dating site (Shut up, Peanut Gallery) and I strike up a message volley with this GORGEOUS guy, no undertones or any hint of my attraction to his profile photo. He messages me back, and I had a little jolt of hope that it'd be some fantastic email or whatever. NO! It was him telling me he was moving to fucking CHINA and that his ex girlfriend and I shared some common interests and "she's looking for someone to hang". Rot in hell, you "vegetarian" liar. I hope you eat dog meat in China, if that's where you're even going. If you didn't think I was your type, you didn't have to message me back this short and simple, yet loaded with useless information, message. Another one of these fucking winners I encountered seemed rather sane, and he made contact first. We're having a semi-decent conversation via IM and he starts "flirting", at one point even sending me "I was hoping it would make you want to kiss me." You fucking creeper! Why the hell would you send that to a perfect stranger. You're fucking 30 YEARS OLD, telling this to a (not so) innocent 22 year old young lady. RED FLAG! RED FLAG! And finally, my favorite: The pre-assuming swingers. You and your lifestyle: have fun. Try and convince me to join because of my sexuality: PISS OFF! I believe in monogamist relationships. And yeah, I sleep around but I'm SINGLE. I'm on a dating site to hopefully meet someone who isn't a fucking weirdo or flake. Then again, it's the FUCKING INTERNET!

Number 2: College students who stare at me because I slightly bob my head while I'm listening to some awesome music, or lip sync just a teeny bit. You assholes need to avert your fucking eyes. Seriously. How about I stare back because you're NOT enjoying music as much as I am? You think a little movement is bad? You're lucky I don't jam out like I normally do, screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs and dancing like some psycho who just got released from a mental institution. Didn't your parents teach you any better? Apparently not.

I feel better :D

Disclaimer for the Slut

I wrote this shorty after the first poetry majig I went to. If you don't like very forward and honest shizz, then I really don't know what to tell you.



Slut

Her speech was slurred,
Her vision blurred.
Her nails dug in their skin.
She loved the bitter taste of sin.
She fucked to feel like she was worth it,
She fucked to feel like someone cared.
This sex addiction was overbearing,
When the last four fucks were sitting near
The hookah puffing away
On flavored tobacco

While the smoke rings suspended in the air,
She knew what she was.
It whispered like a snake in her ear,
"Sssslut..."

Zombie Pet

One day, I'd like to have a zombie pet. Not a zombie dog or anything, a human zombie. I could take it for walks, train it to not attack unless commanded, and feed it criminals. This sounds like a pretty damn good idea, if you ask me. Of course it will be more of a responsibility than a dog because I'd have to de-magotize the poor thing and make sure it's well fed so it doesn't decide to take a bite out of some tasty looking person...or worse, attacking ME! However, I wouldn't mind being a zombie. :)